The Little Mermaid
by Rally Collins
Summary: Parody: The Gundam Wing crew does Disney's The Little Mermaid. 1x2 3x4[shonenai]
1. Chapter One

Author: Rally  
Date: July 24, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter One-

The salt scented sea breeze skimmed along the frothy crests of ocean waves. Amid the milky foam a school of dolphins frolicked with a healthy flock of seagulls, a flipping in a splashing dance.

This serene picture was abruptly broken by the coughing hum of a huge freighter. The dolphins scattered away from its noisy path and then rejoined in its wake.

"So long and thanks for all the fish," one of the mammals spat making a rude fin-gesture at the ass-end of the ship.

"Did you say something?" asked a roguish-looking youth gracing the deck of the ship, brushing his short brown hair out of his eyes against the will of the wind.

"No," replied his companion, a woman who, though in her late twenties, still held on to the childish hairstyle of double braids. "Why? Did I miss something, Your Highness?"

"Ungh," was his only response as his attention was pulled down to his pant leg on which something was tugging. The puller of the leg was a shivering white dog with a horribly drooping nose. "You're hungry already, Plue?" The prince remembered to sound exasperated, though he didn't mind in the least.

"Puun," Plue said pitifully.

"Sally?" The prince pointed to his knapsack and jerked his head meaningfully.

Sally Po, royal advisor to the Crown Prince Heero, rolled her eyes, stalked over to the overstuffed bag, rifled around its contents a bit and then flung an unidentified object at the her boss. "Not even a 'please' or 'thank you,' Heero?"

Ignoring the comment, Heero snatched the UFO out of the air and in a single move, removed the cellophane from the hard candy treat and handed it to his starving pet. Plue smiled past the too-big-to-reasonably-fit-into-his-mouth lollipop, making happy little sucking noises and high stepping in a small circle.

The woman took a calming breath. "That reminds me, when we get back, you need to review the progress of the new Triton-class Mobile Suits. A final prototype cannot be built until you OK the specs."

"Triton?!" shouted a crazy-eyed crewmember from out of nowhere. The unexpected exclamation causing both the dog and the woman to jump. "King Triton's the ruler of the Merpeople, lad. Ain't no mobile suits in the great deep."

"Merpeople?" scoffed the advisor. "Where do they get sailors from, nowadays? And where can I find some decent ones. You're all mad!"

"Puun," said Plue, waving the chewed up remnants of his sucker stick. Sally gently took the stick from the trembling dog and unceremoniously tossed it over her shoulder into the depths of the ocean.

The small white stick sunk far, far below the surface world to where excitement was practically boiling, for it was the day every Mermus had been looking forward to. All of Atlantica had turned up for what was billed as the Imperial Concert of the Century. They had not arrived merely for the music and merriment. They had gathered in droves to experience their first look at the youngest child of the Ocean Queen and they would learn the true name of the prince known only as Shinigami.

The royal herald, a seahorse with a pompous ruff around his neck, swam out above the crowd and blew a run on a golden bugle. "Her Royal Majesty, Queen Une Triton!"

The queen arrived in style. Her carriage was a giant clamshell, pulled by four pedigreed white dolphins, completely unrelated to the scurvy dolphins from the beginning of our tale. The Queen's unbound hair trailed behind her, a fitting banner as she made one sweep of the concert stadium and then settled in her place of honor.

The herald allowed the clamor to recede a bit before introducing the guest of honor. "And presenting, the Royal Court composer, the graceful, the acrobatic, the astoundingly tight-lipped, Trowa!"

Fanfare for the conductor was somewhat diminished from the queen's, but the red-clawed youth waved to his audience, his expression inscrutable even under the clown mask that covered the right side of his face. He swam down to the orchestra pit, bowed to his musicians and raised his wand. The stage exploded in light and song.

Six mermaids popped out of rainbow-colored shells scattered haphazardly across the stage. The only shell that remained closed was a matte-black one set dead center.

_Oh, we are the daughters of Triton,  
Great mother who loves us and named us well!  
There's Excel!_

Excel cried out, "Hail Ilpalazzo!"

_And Fanta!_

"Don't look into her eyes, Master Ryang!" shouted Fanta.

_Chocolate!_

"Darling! Oh ho ho ho ho ho!" cackled Chocolate.

_And Tira!_

Tira screeched, "Call me Queen!"

_Medea!_

"I will be queen of Avalon!" declared Medea.

_Hinano!_

Hinano laughed, "Ha ha ha! You're Welcome!"

_And then there is another in his musical debut!  
Our charming little brother, we're presenting him to you,  
To sing the song that Trowa wrote, his first note will be Do,  
He's our brother Du-u-_

The black shell had opened and revealed nothing. The prince was missing.

"Duo," fumed the Queen Une.

* * *

"Duo! Duo, wait up! You know I can't swim that fast!"

The handsome, black-finned Merman turned around to hassle his best friend and broke out into a burst of laughter.

"What?" asked the blond-haired, blue-striped fish. "What's so funny?"

Duo tried to suppress his guffaws in the palm of his hand, but failed miserably. He'd gone so far as to curl up in a tight ball and subconsciously did a summersault before stifling his reaction to mere giggles. "Quatre, have you had a chance to take a look at yourself," he managed around another bout of chuckles.

"No, why?"

"'Cause, um... Do this!" The merman rubbed the top of his head lightly.

Quatre imitated his friend. His eyes grew wide at what his hand encountered. "My hair's been mohawked!"

Duo bit his lip to prevent a grin. "Now, do this!" He flapped his arms.

The boy flapped his arms, er, hands. He screeched. "Where are my arms? I know, I'm playing a fish, but- My arms!" His aquamarine eyes had filled with tears.

"Now, do this!" He flapped his fin.

Quatre froze, tears threatening to spill. "I don't wanna."

"I bet you'd do it if a certain court composer asked you to."

The aqua orbs narrowed to slits. "You leave Trowa out of this."

"Aw, buck up it's only for one story."

"But, you get to be the hero, with a pretty fin, an' a true love, an' Deathscythe, an' everything and I'm- I'm-"

"Flounder," finished Duo patting the smaller fish on the back. He grinned and pointed to his nose. "Actually, I'm the heroine. Heero's the hero. Look on the bright side, you don't have to be Scuttle or one of the eels."

"That's true," he finally conceded. "Who's stuck being Scuttle?"

Duo's humor threatened to overcome him once more, so he just shook his head and said, "That's for me to know and you to find out. But for now, let's boogie!"

The merman spiraled down to a sunken carrier, forcing the woefully misshapen, brightly painted Quatre to follow. As they descended, a sinister shadow was cast over them.

"The hangar is this way!" Duo took off at a fast swim.

Quatre gasped, but managed to catch up before his friend had pushed the next door completely open. "I still say it's in the control room."

"Got it!" was heard only moments later. Duo clutched his prize to his breast, grinning like a loon.

"Great. Can we go now?" the fish whined. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Oh, come on, Quatre. Don't be such a guppy."

"I'm not a guppy," said guppy griped and then immediately squealed like a little girl.

The merman turned around and came face to, er, teeth with a wall of razor sharp ones. "Oh, hey Bruce. How've ya been?"

"Wondaful," replied the shark, politely. "You?"

"Oh, you know. It comes and goes." Quatre pulled on Duo's arm. The merman looked from the quaking fish, to the shark and back to the fish. "Haven't I introduced you to Bruce, Quat? Musta slipped my mind." Duo smiled. "Quatre, Bruce. Bruce, Quatre."

"'Allo!" said Bruce the Shark congenially.

"Duo, are you nuts?" squeaked the fish.

Ignoring his panicky sidekick, Duo continued his conversation. "How's the group thing going?"

"Got some new membas. Couple a clownfish and a rather daft little lady. Aw, but she's a sweet one, she is."

"Sweet?" repeated Quatre.

"Oh, don' worry, mate. Our motto is:" Duo joined in for this, "Fish are Friends, Not Food!"

"Well, it's been great catching up, Bruce, but we're late for an appointment. I gotta see a seagull about a gundam part."

"Alright, then. See ya around. You too, little guy. I'd love to have you for dinner some time." Bruce swam off.

"Dinner?" whispered Quatre, his voice catching.

* * *

Chang Wufei knelt on the hard stone in the middle of the ocean and freed himself of all emotion. His consciousness drifted, searching for enlightenment, seeking knowledge.

"Wufei?"

He neglected the call.

"Wufei?"

It meant nothing. It was nothing.

"Wu-man?"

"How many times have I told you not to call me that?" Crap. The little brat had gotten a rise out of him.

"Uh, Wufei? Where's your wings?"

The Chinaman took a slow breath and opened his eyes. The longhaired merman waved at him. "What wings, Maxwell?"

Duo frowned for a moment. "Um, I think in this story my last name's Triton, but I guess 'Maxwell' will do."

"I thought Trowa was Triton," said Quatre, a furrow of concentration creasing his brow. "Isn't he Triton Bloom?"

"Isn't that a little off subject?" asked Duo.

"What wings, Maxwell?" repeated Wufei.

"Well, aren't you Scuttle the seagull? A seagull's gotta have wings." The reasoning of a moron could be quite astounding sometimes.

"Why is that?"

Duo took a moment before responding. "'Cause, you've gotta be able to fly."

Wufei merely pointed to the hulking figure of Gundam Nataku.

Duo shrugged. "Good enough for me."

"Not me," whined Quatre. "Look, if I have to look like this," he flapped his hands for emphasis, "Wufei should have to look stupid, too!"

The pilot drew his sword, pointing its shiny tip at the fish's nose. Quatre swallowed hard. "Or whatever. I don't care."

Wufei sheathed his blade. "What do you want, Maxwell?"

Now, Duo's grin nearly split his face in two. He plopped his treasure up onto the rock. "Well, is it or isn't it?"

The unremarkable black box bore the word "Sony" in a chrome relief. Wufei resisted the urge to shake his head. "That's a radio, Maxwell. You _can_ put it in a Gundam, but all it does is play music."

"Music?" Why did that sound so- "Oi! Crap! The concert! My mother's gonna kill me!" He snatched the radio back up and dove for home.


	2. Chapter Two

Author: Rally  
Date: July 31, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Two-

The rosy image of the prince's flight wavered in the center of a pink, heart-shaped scrying crystal. "Blech! There he is again," whined a petulant voice, "Always swimming about as he pleases. There were times that I was free to wander." A shadow detached itself from an alcove in the corner of the small cave, slipping down to the side of the crystal and into the light it cast. The glow revealed the face ordinary teenage girl, blue-eyed and towheaded with a stubborn pout to her lips. "Times when I ruled in the palace, before that bitch stole my throne. Before when the world was in the palm of my hand." Thin, pale arms stole around the crystal, embracing the image within. "But you're going to help me get back what is rightfully mine, aren't you Little Death? And when I'm finished with you, you'll be nothing more than seaweed."

* * *

"What was so important that you found it absolutely necessary to absent yourself from a celebration revolving solely around you?" There was a certain art to distinguishing the queen's mood through her total lack of inflection. Duo, fortunately, was a master of the art and he immediately deemed her pissed off, not quite livid, but close enough.

He put on his best "Little Innocent Me" face and resolutely chose a spot near the bottom of the queen's fin to stare. "I'm sorry. I just forgot that it was today."

"Do not use that expression on me." Duo dropped the act. "It is your birthday. You forgot that today is your birthday?"

She had him there. Duo had never forgotten a birthday in his life. He certainly wouldn't forget one as important as his sixteenth and he most especially wouldn't forget after harping on everyone about how excited he was about it for the past six weeks. "No, ma'am."

"I expect better of you, Duo. You are my only son. You will rule one day and you need to set an example for your people. This is the wrong kind of example."

"But it wasn't his fault," blurted Quatre, swimming out and then placing himself defiantly between Duo and his mother. "There was a shark that was going to eat us for dinner! And the poor girl fish he said was sweet and the clowns and the group, the Friends of the Fish Food, and then the seagull lost his wings and Wufei said-"

"Seagull? Wufei?" Queen Une laced her lithe fingers together, leaning ever so slightly forward in her throne. "You are still speaking with that knave?"

"Quatre? Are you trying to get me killed?" At the prince's look the little fish, slapped his forehead, just realizing what he'd done.

"I am the one you are speaking to, son. Do not forget that." Great. Now, she was livid.

"Wufei isn't a knave," he said as reasonably as possible. "He's my friend."

"Friend or foe, the boy believes in nothing but war. You will not bring that down upon your house. Do you understand me?"

"Listen, mom-"

"You will not speak with that fighter again."

"But-"

"You will not so much as break the surface of this ocean."

"Yeah, but-"

"You will not meet with Chang Wufei."

"Mo-om-"

"Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Crystal."

"You are dismissed."

Duo gave a curt nod and fled the throne room.

* * *

Queen Une watched her son retreat out of her presence. "That boy. I have no idea what to do with him."

Her advisor held both his tongue and his position to the right of the throne.

"Perhaps he needs supervision." Silence. "Perhaps he needs someone to keep him on track." Still no response. "I trust you can handle it."

"Ma'am," replied Trowa before bowing out to chase down the headstrong prince.

He caught sight of his ward just as the boy was leaving palace waters. He followed his charge past the city limits and into the abandoned slums of Atlantica. The prince finally came to a halt at the doors of a beat up warehouse. The sign of the warehouse declared, "Maxwell Church's Crazy Emporium of Insane Deals! Where Lunatics Rule and Sane People Drool!"

There was a tiny blip and the double doors slid open on silent tracks. Trowa waited for the doors to close and the shadowy silhouettes to dissolve before approaching the building to pick the electronic lock. It was tricky work. Prince Duo certainly knew his locks and he had chosen the best for his crappy looking ex-Emporium. What could he possibly need such a big lock for?

The doors swooshed open, admitting the queen's lackey. The warehouse was nearly bursting at the seams with various vehicle parts, mostly from ships and aircraft, but a few automobile parts were strewn throughout the mess. Laughter flowed from the back, where a particularly tall pile of metal obscured its source. Trowa snuck in behind a airplane engine, peeking around the edge at his target.

"You should've seen your face, Q," Prince Duo was saying. "It was a real Kodak moment." He imitated Quatre by making a big O of his mouth, somehow screwing up the pupils of his eyes and then slapping himself on the forehead hard enough to scramble his brain. "You looked like she was gonna eat ya!"

"Shut up! It wasn't that funny," whined the fish. "And I think she really was gonna have Mr. Zechs fry me up for dinner!"

"Nah! She's more the sushi type and that's more Trieze's field. Cold _cuts_, anyone!" he called over his shoulder, coincidentally toward his stalker. Trowa flattened himself against the floor.

"Your mother eats _sushi?!?_" squealed Quatre, holding both hands over his mouth. "Cannibal!"

"Only tuna so you're safe... I think."

A look of horror froze on Quatre's face. "So, _that's_ what happened to Charlie. Poor Charlie."

A sparkle of amusement bolted through the prince's eyes, but he didn't disavow the fish of his conclusion. He clapped his hands and placed an arm around his friend, guiding him to the tall pile of rubble. "What's important now is this radio. Wufei said that it _can_ go into a Gundam, so we have ta make it fit."

A Gundam? As in a weapon of mass destruction? Queen Une was not going to like the sound of that.

Suddenly, Trowa found a blade at his throat. "Oh, hey, Music Man," beamed Prince Duo. "Mom send ya?"

No use in lying. "Yes," Trowa replied slipping away from the business end of the scythe while avoiding any sudden movement.

"Trowa?" Quatre blinked into the shadows, only just getting a glimpse of the intruder. "What are you doing here?"

He couldn't seem to resist answering the question. "My mission is to keep Prince Duo on track."

"On track? Don't ya mean out of trouble?"

"You're not gonna rat us out, are you Trowa?" Quatre batted his eyes and then swam nearly up to Trowa's nose. "You're not gonna nark on _me_, are you?" He gave a little whimper, tears pooling in his aquamarine eyes. "Not on me?"

That's right. If he squealed on Duo, he'd be squealing on Quatre. Duo would live through the experience. Trowa wasn't so sure little Quatre would. The queen had already taken a disliking to the prince's sidekick. "Uh... no?" Why did he always feel so unsure of himself when the little fish was around?

"Good job, Quat!" The prince dropped the scythe and then pounded Quatre on the back, practically knocking the fish into the nearest pile of junk. "Give 'im the ol' guilt trip. Nicely done." Grinning, Quatre sat back, wiped the tears from his eyes and then gave a thumbs up. "We have your word on that?" The last was directed to the prone Trowa.

He'd just been played. And by _Quatre_ of all people. Cute, innocent little Quatre. Trowa killed the sigh rising up his throat, nodded his defeat and received a Quatre necklace as a reward. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Now that that's settled," began the prince, "Do you have any idea how to connect a radio to a Gundam?"


	3. Chapter Three

Author: Rally  
Date: July 31, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Three-

With Trowa's expertise, the insertion of radio into Gundam took approximately one minute, give or take fifteen seconds. However it took Duo a full ten minutes of prodding a gape-jawed Trowa into responsiveness after the jack-of-many-trades had gotten a good look at the "tall pile of junk." At first, Duo could only smile. His Deathscythe was a real beaut, a flightless angel in the sky. Water. Whatever.

"Hey, I thought it was supposed to play music." Quatre had just poked his nose in the cockpit for his fifth update of the progress in as many seconds.

"It will, but it can't this far underwater," explained Trowa slipping out of the Gundam. He didn't look it to begin with, but Trowa was a master of the surface world technologies. Duo had never heard the story of how Trowa had learned so much about humans, but it was something he'd always wondered about and it wasn't like Trowa would give him a straight answer if asked. "No radio signals."

Quatre mouthed, "Radio signals?" and the prince grinned.

"So, waddaya say, we make us a little less far underwater?"

"Can we really?" asked the fish while the crab gave a flat, "No."

"That's two to one and I outrank you both, so..." He lightly snapped his fingers and clapped his hands together, trying to look nonchalant. "Last-on-in-the-mobile-suits-a-rotten-caviar!" Two bodies bolted for Shinigami's cockpit and promptly got clotheslined by an outstretched pincer.

Duo looked up from where he'd been sprawled. The lower portion of his body was folded over onto his head. "Oiya, Trowa! What'd ya do that for?" He flipped over onto his back.

"The answer is no." Trowa's expression harbored no room for objection. "You're not going up to the surface."

The prince pushed himself off the floor. "That's great, 'cause I'm not going up to the surface. I'm going up _near_ the surface. Mom didn't say I couldn't get near the surface, just that I was not to, and I quote, 'so much as break the surface of this ocean,' end quote."

"He's right," supplied Quatre. "I was there." Trowa's face remained stone, but the shine in his eyes indicated a supersonic use of his mind to find a flaw in Duo's loophole. "Come on, Trowa. Please?"

"Give us twenty minutes," offered Duo.

"Five," was the counter offer.

"Fifteen."

"Six."

"Oi, hard bargainer! Ten."

"Alright, ten, but not a second more."

"Done!" Duo's hand shot out. Trowa stared hard at it for a moment before grasping it and shaking. "Nice doing business with ya!"

* * *

The Deathscythe's cockpit wasn't _too_ much of a squeeze with three bodies only because both Trowa and Quatre had miraculously shrunk down to the size of their true sea counterparts.

_Clonk!_

"Elbows, Duo! Elbows! I thought we discussed this!"

"Er... Sorry, Quat."

_Bonk!_

"I would appreciate not being kicked, especially since I'm only six inches in size, Your Highness."

"Forgive me, Music Man."

_BamSmack!_

_"OW! DUOOO!"_

"That's _it!_" Duo froze for a second, avoiding smacking, kicking or elbowing anyone. "Trowa, get under the seat _behind_ my fin! Quatre, a little elbow space would be nice. Get your blue-striped fins down next to Trowa and everybody shut up for ten seconds!"

Both of the prince's companions zipped to their designated positions without a peep. Exactly ten seconds later, "Duo, I wanna see."

"Seeing equals getting elbowed, Quatre. Do you want to get elbowed?"

"No," responded a little voice.

"Fine then. We're almost there, anyway."

This was the 'Scythe's first test drive and it wasn't quite as much fun as the prince first imagined. Although, he'd admit that the lack of fun was probably directly proportionate to the amount of damage he was inflicting upon his friends' bodies and he was convinced that by the end of their little excursion they'd all be sporting at least one black eye.

Duo could find no fault with the Deathscythe's operation. It rode like a dream. "Coming upon fifteen feet... fourteen... thirteen..."

"Stop!" shouted the crab, flying out of his cubby and shocking the other two co-pilots.

Quatre rubbed the top of his head, where a bump was quickly swelling from its bonk to the overhead. Duo halted the 'Scythe's ascent.

"We're the-ere," announced the merman with enough cheer to disguise the fact that Trowa's unusually loud voice had ruffled him. "Ten feet. Maker work!" He gave a double-handed point to the crossed-armed, frowning crab. "Let there be music!"

Trowa stared at his prince for a full minute before relenting and then turning to mess with the radio controls. A peculiar buzz erupted from the mobile suit's sound system, before a voice rang out. "Ninety-five-five! This is Tic Tac with the hot girl check in! Are you on the road?[1]" Trowa hit another couple of buttons. "_That's the way! Uh huh! Uh huh! I like it! Uh huh! Uh huh!_"

"And there was music," whispered Trowa.

The song was just winding down and the channel flipped to a commercial. "More," begged Quatre, glomping onto one of the crab's claws. "I want more!"

"That's the way I like it," declared Duo in a singsong, leaning over and resting his chin on his palms. "Uh huh. Uh huh."

The crab punched just one button this time. "_I've got sunshine, on a rainy day. When it's cold outside-_"

"Next!" interrupted Duo.

Punch. "_-guess I just won't get paid. Blame it on the train, but the boss is already there._"

"Next!"

Punch. "_I like big butts-_"

"Woah! Next!"

Punch. "_I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day. You've got me in a spin, but everyfin is A-okay! Touching you! Touching me! Touching you, God you're touching-_"

"Next!" This time it was the fish. The prince glared, but Quatre just shrugged.

Punch. "It's time for traffic and weather on the nines-"

"Next!"

A light exploded above the 'Scythe. The trio immediately forgot their fascination with the radio.

* * *

"Heero, be careful, dammit!" Sally Po wrung her braids in frustration. Heero was playing hero again. He had launched Wing Zero within a single breath of the attack. "_We're_ supposed to be protecting _you_, not the other way around!"

"Ah," came the calm reply over the speakers.

"Don't 'Ah' me! Just get your skinny butt back down here!" The advisor thrashed around at another two explosions even though Heero had drawn the squadron of mobile suits well away from the bulky freighter. "Noin!"

"Ma'am!"

"Why the hell aren't you covering His Royal Highness' ass?"

"Because His Royal Highness is too busy covering my ass for us to reverse positions," the soldier replied reasonably.

Subordinates... Can't live with 'em, can't- Sally pulled herself up short. It wasn't right to take her irritation out on Lucrezia when it was Heero she was angry with.

"We've got another two squadrons coming in from the east." That was not what she needed to hear.

"Andersen, Voight, get out there. Heero, get back on this ship. Now."

"Nn."

"I don't want to hear anything out of you that isn't 'Yes, ma'am!'"

The little red screen blip labeled "01" did not alter its course. It continued merrily toward the three dozen green blips, down the path called "total annihilation." "Heero?" There was no reply. "Heero?" Literal pain in the ass.

"Two _more_ squadrons heading in from the north, ma'am."

Shit.

* * *

Notes:  
[1] 95.5 is a radio station in Detroit. Tic Tac is a real DJ and the Hot Girl Check In is a regular part of his show. Basically, if you think you're a hottie, you call in and say where you are and what you're up to.

[2] Mind that none of the lyrics belong to me either. See: "That's the Way (I Like It)"- K.C. and the Sunshine Band. "My Girl"-The Temptations. "Manic Monday"-The Bangles. "Baby Got Back"-Sir Mix-a-Lot. "I Believe in a Thing Called Love"-The Darkness.


	4. Chapter Four

Author: Rally  
Date: August 4, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Four-

"What is that?" inquired the little fish through the mire of silence and flashes of light.

"That," grinned the merman maniacally, "Is what I'd give my left arm to see!"

"Your highness," warned the crab.

"Nuh uh. Not listenin', Claws." Duo braced himself back against the seat, gripping the controls. "I gotta!"

"Gotta what?" asked Quatre.

"This is your only warning. Hang on!" With that the Deathscythe shot up out of the ocean and right into the middle of mayhem.

* * *

"One unit just emerged from below 01's position."

"What do you mean, 'below?'" asked Sally, involuntarily clenching her teeth.

"It came from the ocean, ma'am."

What next? "What's it doing?"

"Nothing at the moment, ma'am."

"Heero, did you copy that?"

"Yes, ma'am," responded the pilot.

"Noin?"

"Ma'am?"

"Take out that new unit."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

The battle was the most amazing thing Duo had ever witnessed. It was like a beautiful ballet of explosion, sound and glistening metal and he was in awe of the forces around him.

The suit just above the 'Scythe was the second most amazing thing. Whoever the pilot was, he was brilliant. In the space of a heartbeat, that pilot had downed six attacking units and had hardly moved at all.

"Duo?"

The blasts! The punches! The golden ring of victory!

"Duoooo! One o'clock!"

The clock! Clock? Duo's eyes flicked over to one o'clock. There was a mobile suit coming in fast. Really fast.

Instincts Duo wasn't aware he possessed kicked in to bring up the 'Scythe's shield arm and block the blow of the opposing suit.

A voice came out of the sound system. "Unidentified craft, this is Lucrezia Noin of the Imperial Air Command."

Ever inquisitive, the fish asked, "Where's that coming from?"

"You will stand down and evacuate this airspace or I will be forced to remove you permanently."

The prince grinned. "Ooh, she's a feisty one. How do I talk back, Crabby?"

Trowa mumbled something about "crab claws" and "royal hind-end" before giving Duo a warning glare and then flipping the communications switch.

"Wrong place and time, babe," began the prince's oh so appropriate speech. "I'm unarmed, uninformed and harmless."

"Unidentified craft," began Noin again, but Duo wasn't paying attention. His eyes were fixed on the amazing suit above and its miraculous ability to keep any other suit away from Noin's.

* * *

"Noin, why is that suit still operational?" Sally uncharacteristically snapped. There were well over a hundred enemy units and every time she blinked there would be another two squadrons moving in.

"Pilot claims to be unarmed and he's done nothing but protect himself, ma'am."

"Ask Heero's parents if they care when we present his dead body to them in lieu of a living one."

Noin snorted. "Won't be my problem. If he dies, I'll already be fish food."

"Sanderson down," came a report. "Melikesh down. Irnies down."

Shit. Shit. Double shit.

"Kamden, Wallchuck, DeTries down."

Sally gripped the edge of the table and then took one last look at the radar. Three red blips, one orange and too many green to count.

"Heero." It took all she had to prevent her voice from cracking. "On my mark dive for the ocean floor."

"Negative," was the instant reply.

"On my mark," argued the commander.

"Negative."

"Heero, we can't win this battle. Now, on my mark."

"Negative. I will end this."

He was going to do it. He was. Sally forced herself to not hit the nearest possible soldier merely to relieve the frustration. "Heero, don't you dare."

* * *

"Enemy units," came a new voice from out of the comm. overriding Noin's, "This is Prince Heero Yuy, pilot of Wing Zero."

Despite the announcement, the merman's eyes remained glued to the fascinating suit. All of the attacking units immediately ceased all movement. The hatch of Duo's object of desire slid open and a young man stepped outside, holding something in his outstretched hand.

"Mission complete," said the boy before the suit blew up in a magnificent blast that engulfed two dozen of the mobile suits behind it.

Dou kept his focus on the boy and he saw that though the explosion was violent to say the least, the blast had thrown the boy into the sea.

The Deathscythe plunged into the ocean depths, following the sinking body. Almost subconsciously, Duo popped the hatch, swam out, caught the boy and quickly made for the surface. They had come up well away from the broken battle, partly due to Heero's trajectory and partly because Duo was purposely avoiding getting anywhere near those enemy units.

"Hello, kid?" He slapped the slack face lightly. "You alive?" There was no response. He placed his cheek near the boy's mouth and it was caressed by a slight breath. "Alrighty, you're alive. That's good."

"Duo!"

Duo jumped half a foot out of the water. "Don't scare me like that, Quatre!"

"What do you think you're doing, Your Highness?" the crab asked quietly.

"Uh... Search and rescue?" He shifted the unconscious boy higher in his grip.

"Do you realize-"

"Speaking of which, we need to get this guy to dry land. Y'know dry land, where human's live? You do know where to find some, right, O Great Trowa?"


	5. Chapter Five

Author: Rally  
Date: August 4, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Five-

Heero was alive and a strange sense of disappointment passed over him for a moment. It wasn't that he was upset that he was alive, it was more that if he was alive he had failed his mission. Heero Yuy had failed.

"Hello, kid? You alive?" The voice did not belong to any of Heero's men. "Alrighty, you're alive. That's good."

Good, indeed. The darkness slipped over him once again.

* * *

"Troowa? How much farther? This guy's like a load of sand." Arms shifted around Heero's chest and a wave splashed over his face, but the fallen pilot didn't sputter, he merely allowed the water to sluice off on its own.

"Another hour. Maybe two."

"Two _hours_? I don't think I can drag him for another ten minutes. My arms'll fall off!"

It was two hours to their destination. The real question was what is their destination and why are they swimming to it? That little tidbit of a fact hadn't escaped Heero's concussed brain, that they were floating in the wide ocean.

"Don't blame Trowa," this from a new voice. "You're the one who left the Deathscythe behind."

"Details, details."

"Deal with it, Your Highness."

The arms shifted again. "I guess I'm just gonna havfta, right Crabby?"

The darkness returned.

* * *

Solid ground was below him. Soft and pliable, but solid. Heero was on a sun-drenched beach and he wasn't alone. He could hear someone breathing above him. Fingers brushed bangs out off his forehead, the touch so delicate his eyes flew open of their own accord. The person above Heero, breathing into his face, had the most startling amethyst eyes. Her hair fanned out around her head like a black halo in some long forgotten tale of Heaven and Hell. She was his Angel of Death.

"Heero?" The far off cry drove the angel away and when Heero managed to sit up, he was alone on the beach.

"Puun." Plue's head popped up over a rock formation.

* * *

The surface of the water was broken only by Duo's eyes. His vision stayed firmly locked on the Pilot Prince even as the humans dressed in the same colors as the prince shuffled him off the beach. Heero Yuy. He would remember that name and he would forever remember the vision of a dancing Angel of Battle.

* * *

"I don't know how much longer I can take it!" The prince's outburst shocked his gaggle of sisters silent.

His sisters were, however, quite like their brother and unable to remain quiet for long.

"What is it? What can't you take, Duo?" Hinano was the first to her brother's side, a look of concern on her face.

"Probably the pressure of being a loser," supplied Medea with a smile fit for a queen.

Fanta slapped her twin's shoulder. "Medea! That was rude. What's wrong, Duo?"

Six pairs of eyes fixed on the prince. Duo couldn't recall the last time he had the attention of all of his sisters, even Excel had stopped her near constant ranting. "Uh..." He couldn't tell them. He wasn't sure himself what exactly it was he couldn't take. Was it the continuous thoughts of a particular mobile suit in action or was it the need to see that suit in action again? Or was it... the suit's... pilot... "It's nothing you need to concern yourselves over."

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?" asked Tira shoving a wound up whip under his nose.

"That was much too eloquent for you, Duo dear," explained Chocolate not even attempting to reign her sister in.

"Listen," he checked to make sure he still had their undivided attention, "It's nothing I can't handle on my own."

"So, you're okay then?" asked Hinano.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Your Welcome!" she cried. Duo patted her on the head and then made his way outside of the palace.

* * *

"Duo, I've got something really great to show you!"

The merman put on his best smile for his friend, trying his hardest to make it touch his eyes. "Is it a present? I loves me some presents!"

"Better," declared the fish, grabbing the prince's wrist and dragging him all the way to the Emporium.

Quatre threw Duo inside, checked left and right, pulled the door shut behind him and then triple bolted the locks.

A real smile began worming its way onto Duo's lips. "What's the conspiracy?"

"You'll see," said the fish defensively. "Now, close your eyes." The merman complied. "And no peeking!"

"Wouldn't dream of it, Quat." His arm was yanked nearly out of socket as Quatre made his way to the back of the garage.

"Okay, you can open them."

It took a moment for Duo's eyes to adjust to the dim lighting of the garage and the first thing he could make out was the image of Deathscythe, but as his irises shifted another figure formed from the shadows, that of a battered, winged mobile suit. Wing Zero. Duo's jaw dropped.

Quatre clapped his excitement. "The great Duo Triton, speechless."

"Not speechless," Duo managed, sucking up a bit of drool, "But pretty damn close. Holy Crap, Quatre! Where did you get it?"

"Where do you think?" A measurable amount of smugness had entered Quatre's tone.

Duo wasn't sure what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind. "Dude, you fucking rock!"

The fish raised a hand. "I know. I know. Don't stop on my account. I like compliments."

Duo felt so giddy, like a child with a thousand new toys and all the candy he could eat. "I can keep it? Really?"

"I should say not."

It was like he'd just been hit with a rock, a really big rock with spikes. He turned, deliberately slowly, as if that would change his fate. It didn't. "Hi, mom."

"Yes. Hello." She was not amused. "Duo, I will ask you this only once. What is this?"

Duo tried not to squirm. "A garage."

"And what are those?" She indicated the Gundams.

"Mobile suits."

"Why are you building mobile suits?"

"I didn't build _both_ of them." He grinned in spite of the situation. "Just the one on the left."

One of the queen's eyebrows raised. "And the other, where did you get it?"

"Qua- er... It was on the ocean floor."

She changed tactics by raising a hand casually. "Trowa? Where did my son obtain that gundanium-alloy mobile suit?"

Duo hadn't noticed the crab until his mother had spoken to him. "It belongs to Prince Heero, Your Majesty. Prince Duo has recently met his acquaintance."

Something unidentified flashed through the queen's expression. "Prince Heero? This is not good, my son." She raised her staff and a blade of pure thermal energy appeared curving out from its end. "Not good at all." She advanced on the Wing Zero.

"Mom? What are you doing?" Someone or someones clamped onto his arms. "You can't just destroy it!" He surged forward, but the bonds held. "Mom, don't!"

The Wing Zero was systematically destroyed by one all powerful Sea Scythe. The Deathscythe followed shortly after, the death of Death.


	6. Chapter Six

Author: Rally  
Date: August 6, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Six-

Duo hefted a jagged piece of black metal that used to be part of Deathscythe's armor. The image of his frowning face was reflected back and he dropped the scrap, shoving away that which he did not want to see. "Well, Deathscythe, ol' buddy, I didn't think it'd end this way," he spoke to the empty garage. "You were the only reason I could stand this hole. _Creating_ you was my only purpose." He sat in silence for a minute, the aroma of metal and grease aiding his decision. "I hope you'll forgive me for abandoning you like this."

"But where will you go?"

The merman flung around to the source of the voice, his defenses kicked on instinctually. A figure detached from a pile of airplane parts. The new arrival was that of an eel with the torso of a woman.

She gave a respectful bow. "I'm Hilde, Your Highness and this is my sister, Catherine."

Another eel-woman broke away from the surroundings. The first was a slight brunette, almost delicate in everything but her demeanor. The second was a redhead and had the personality to match. "Prince Shinigami," Catherine greeted with only a nod.

"Duo's fine," replied the prince. He wasn't concerned with how they'd gotten in his haven. His mother had seen to it that Duo would never be able to use the Emporium as a secret base again by destroying its very walls. She had even gone so far as to have a demolition order written up for the next day. Maxwell Church's Crazy Emporium of Insane Deals was living its last day. What he was concerned with was their motive. "What do you want?"

"Don't be so defensive," snapped the redhead. "We're here to help."

Duo swallowed a choke. "Help? What makes you think I need your help?"

Hilde gave a tiny smile. "I repeat my earlier question. Where will you go?"

Duo held his tongue. The truth was he didn't know where to go. He just knew he had to get away; away from his mother, away from his torn home, away from-

"Why not go up?"

He wasn't sure which of the girls had spoken, nor did he care. Up? To the surface world?

"To the human world. Your mother couldn't follow you there. She wouldn't destroy everything you hold dear up there."

That's true. She couldn't.

"She wouldn't even know where to look."

"You'd be a lost prince."

Lost prince?

"Surely something up there would peak your interest considering your little collection here."

Interest?

"But maybe we're wrong, sister. Perhaps the human world doesn't appeal to Prince Duo."

"That can't be true, can it?"

They were both quiet for a moment. "Pity."

He looked up to catch their retreating backs. "Wait." It was barely above a whisper, but the eel-women turned to face him. "How does this... help... work?"

"Relena has great powers," they chanted in unison.

"Relena?" Duo felt his eyes go wide. "The Sea Hag?"

Hilde gave a single nod.

"Didn't she, like, go insane and was exiled from Atlantica? I heard she was a wack-a-doo with serious violent tendencies."

Catherine spluttered, but Hilde caught a handful of her sister's hair, pulling the taller eel to a halt. "False accusations, I assure you, Your Highness. Relena is a Peacecraft after all. She lives only to make others happy. You'll see once you meet her."

* * *

Meeting with the Sea Hag. Duo, this has got to be one of the lamest things you've done in your short sixteen years.

The Sea Hag's current residence was a pink coral wreathed, pink-granite cave-like building. Okay, it was a pink structure in the shape of a teddy bear head and the entrance was the bear's slightly gaping jaw.

"Oi, this girl needs to fire her interior decorator," Duo mumbled quietly enough that neither of the eels could hear him and then, "Wack-a-doo," slipped out as he followed the girls down the teddy bear tongue carpet and into a huge, nearly spherical room. This was where they abandoned him.

The merman blinked into the dark room, trying to will his eyes to see a color other than pink.

"We mustn't lurk in doorways, m'boy. It's rude." The walls began to glow softly, illuminating a young girl octopus.

She looked normal enough; pleasant face, long, wheat-colored hair, light blue eyes. "Relena?"

"Yes, yes," she agreed, waving him closer. "Come, let's get a good look at you."

Well, he was already here. Why not? He swam up to her.

She looped around him once in an almost predatory fashion, her tentacles brushing across his chest. "Ooh. Yes. I see now."

"See what?" he managed, suppressing a shiver from the contact.

She placed two fingers below his chin. "You are a pretty one, aren't you?"

"Boys aren't pretty," Duo was compelled to object.

She stared deep into his eyes for a second before patting him on the cheek and slipping away. "Keep telling yourself that, Beautiful. Anyway, let's get down to business." She tossed her hair, crossed her arms and then faced him. "You're here because you've got a thing for this human? This prince fellow?"

"Eh!?!" Duo squeaked, a blush tinting his cheeks.

Relena giggled in delight. "Pretty and shy. What a combination. I'll take that as a 'yes.'" A finger touched her lips. "Your secret's safe with me. I won't tell a soul. I'm here to help you, remember."

Duo couldn't argue with her. Duo would never tell a lie; not to anyone, not even himself. He _was_ in love with Heero. "What's the catch?"

"No catch." Relena's look clearly presented her offended status. "Do you think me a con artist?"

The prince reworded his question. "What do you get out of this little deal?"

"Why, satisfaction in a good deed done." She tapped her teeth. "But you're right. I do need some form of payment. Don't worry about the cost, angel eyes, it'll merely be a trinket, a trifle to remember you by."

"Which is?" he prodded.

"What I want is..." She swept in, lips grazing his ear. "Your voice."

"My-" His voice cracked and he had to start over. "My voice?"

"Yes."

"What's the deal, exactly?"

A half smile crept onto Relena's lips. "I'll make you a potion to turn you human for three days." She tapped his forehead and then held up three fingers to demonstrate. "Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get Ol' Princey to kiss you. But not just any kiss; it must be the kiss of True Love. If you do, you'll remain human permanently and live your happily ever after, but if you don't..." She shook her head slowly, closing her hand into a loose fist. "If you don't, you'll turn back into a Merman and your prize will belong to me."

Duo choked. "You want Heero?"

"Want?" She shook her head again. "No, Sweetie, not want. That's just how these things work. A failed spell has a tendency to backlash. If you fail, it's out of my hands."

"Don't you mean tentacles?"

Relena shot him an indignant look. "Baka! Do you want my help or not?"

Did he? Yes, he did. "Take my voice. I don't really need it anyway, right?"

"Right." Her anger dissolved. "Now, if you'll just sign here." She produced a contract from thin air and handed him a fluffy pink quill.

"You don't mind if I just peruse that before giving it the ol' John Hancock, do you?"

The girl swallowed hard, licked her lips and gave a strained smile before handing over the document. "Of course not. Be my guest."

"Yadda, yadda, yadda of the aforementioned... Uh huh. ...undersigned is responsible for... Okay. The contractor must... Yup. ...for the payment of one (1) voice." The merman caught the octopus' eye. "This seems all in order, Miss Peacecraft."

"Of course," she agreed shoving the quill at him.

"Of course," he repeated. "Well then, nothing left to do, but sign the thing, right? Right. Okay..." He took the pen. "Well, voice, it's been a ride, a long road of trials and difficulties, training and building, and endless sessions with the Music Man and-"

Relena snapped. "Just sign it already!"

Duo winked at her. "Right. Here goes nothing." The tip of the pen touched the paper. "This isn't pink ink is it? 'Cause I'm gonna have to insist on black."

"Oh, for Neptune's sake! Just sign the bloody document!"

"Woah, calm down, princess. I'm on it." He scribbled. "Duo 'Maxwell' Triton." He stared at his signature for a second. "I just knew it was gonna be pink. Gag me!"

"With pleasure," said the Sea Hag, wrapping both hands around his throat. "Now, sing!"

"Ow. That's delicate flesh you're abusing there."

"Sing," she repeated, relieving some of the pressure, "Please?"

"Um..."

"What now?"

"I'm thinking. My mind's gone blank. Not one song."

Her grip faltered. "You're really ruining my moment, you know that, don't you?"

"Sorry. Um... Okay, I've got one. Go for it."

The hands closed around the soft neck again. "Now, sing!"

"_Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I truly want to be-e-e. 'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me!_" He held the last note until his face turned blue.

"I hate you so much," the Sea Hag muttered as her fingers slid through the flesh and pulled out the glowing ball of Duo's voice, quickly stuffing it in a seashell.

Duo stared in rapt fascination as Relena flew about the room, snatching up bottles of liquids and vials of solids and then mixed them all together in an actual caldron. She uttered not a word, but at one point the bubbling concoction exploded into a green and yellow vapor. She dipped a ladle into what remained of the mixture and then curled a finger at him.

He approached and downed the entire ladleful of the vile fluid. It tasted like cotton candy...

For all of a half a second. After that it was more like molten lava, straight from the Earth's Core, oozing its way through Duo veins. Something was shoved down his throat, cutting off his breathing and just before he passed out, he felt something latch on to his arms.

* * *

Notes:  
1 I haven't the foggiest of who owns the Oscar Mayer wiener jingle. I'm going to assume Oscar Mayer. If you know otherwise, just let me know.


	7. Chapter Seven

Author: Rally  
Date: August 7, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Seven-

Strangeness nagged at Duo's half-conscious mind. His chest burned, there was something wrong with his fin and his skin felt so dry. Dry?

His eyes popped open, taking in the sun baked shore that he was currently in residence on. His focus whipped down to his fin--no, to his legs. He had _legs_.

"He's awake!" A quick glance revealed that both Quatre and Trowa were lounging in the waves at the water's edge.

"A fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Your Highness."

Duo intended to make a retort, but not even a squeak made it out of his mouth. Instead, he shook a fist at the crab's lecture.

"What have you done to yourself, Maxwell?"

The prince turned to the newest voice, made his eyes really big, smiled and looked to both sides. Wufei ignored the cute look, tossed Duo a jacket and then dropped down to a cross-legged seat next to the newly made human. "Cover yourself," he ordered and then to Trowa, "Barton?"

Duo examined the jacket from every angle. He looked at the jacket, then Wufei, then the jacket again. It just didn't make sense.

"He traded his voice to the Sea Hag for legs."

"A silent Maxwell?" The seagull considered the possibilities for a second.

Okay, new approach. Duo looked down the tunnel of each sleeve in turn. Two projections, two legs. No, that didn't seem right. Two projections, two arms. Bingo! He flipped the jacket backwards and then proceeded to slide his arms in the sleeves.

"He's gonna find Prince Yuy and kiss him and live happily ever after," supplied Quatre.

Wufei just noticed what Duo had done with the coat and snorted. At least he was no longer indecently exposed.

"He's only got three days." The crab checked the sun's current location at just above the horizon. "Make that two days."

"And this sounded like a good idea?" The question was directed to the human.

Duo flattened his hand out and rocked it back and forth, shrugging.

"This has nothing to do with me. How did I get dragged into this?" asked Wufei.

"You're the seagull," replied Quatre confidently. "You know how to find Prince Yuy."

"Do you know where to find Prince Yuy?" Trowa asked despite Quatre's proclamation.

"First of all," he glared at Quatre, "I am not a seagull. Second, I _do_ know where Yuy is, but I think you're all wasting your time. This 'kissing' plan will never come to fruition."

Trowa gave Wufei a hard stare. "If Prince Duo fails to get Prince Heero to fall in love with him and kiss him, the Sea Hag gains possession of Prince Heero."

"You've got to be kidding me?" Trowa shook his head and Wufei reached out to slap Duo hard upside the head. "Baka! Relena's been trying to get her tentacles on Prince Heero for years. When she was denied his hand in marriage, she tried to start a war over it. Lady Une was forced to over throw Relena's rule and exile the nutter."

Relena was after Heero? And Duo had given her everything she needed to succeed. He was an idiot!

The fish stifled a smile. "Did the Great Chang Wufei just say, 'nutter?'"

"I only say what I mean. Relena is a nutter."

A little, white, roundish creature climbed over the rock behind Wufei and then walked up to the prince. All eyes were on the creature as it pulled a giant lollipop out of its mouth and held it up to Duo. "Puuuun."

* * *

Heero chased his dog over the seawall, landing gracefully on one foot. His eyes darted down the beach, searching for a spot of white. What they encountered was a large patch of white in the shape of a man. Actually, it was a man in a white trench coat sitting on the sand. Plue was trying to feed the beached stranger. Typical.

He whistled to Plue, jogging toward the man. "Hey, boy, what did you dig up this time?"

The man, no, now that Heero had gotten a closer look he knew the stranger was much younger than he'd first thought. And he was wearing the trench coat backwards. The boy looked up to Heero and his eyes widened. Heero had to fight back a shiver. There was something about those eyes that worried the edges of his memory. "Please excuse my dog. He doesn't understand the intricacies of hygiene."

"Puuuuun," protested the dog, shoving the sucker back into his own mouth.

The boy continued to gape.

"I hope he didn't scare you?"

The boy blinked, looked at Plue and then shook his head.

Something, something, something. It was just there out of reach and Heero didn't want to walk away from the strange boy until he had figured it out.

"Are you all right? You look confused." Heero was beginning to feel overbearing, talking down to the boy, so he shoved a squawking seagull aside and sat down.

A nod.

"Don't you speak?"

The boy bit his lip and then mouthed the words, "I wish I could."

"That's fine. I can read lips."

::Really?:: he mouthed.

"Really," Heero replied to prove his statement.

::That makes things a helluva lot easier!::

"Yes," agreed Heero. "It does. I'm Heero Yuy and you are?"

::Duo Tr--Maxwell.:: He grinned. ::Duo Maxwell.::

"Duo," repeated Heero, enjoying the texture of the name on his tongue. "Now, what are you doing here and why are you wearing your coat backwards?"

The boy looked down to the coat. ::It's on backwards?::

"Yes."

A blush crept onto his face. ::Oh. See, I've never really worn um... one of these before.::

Alright, he was a moron. The pretty boys usually were. "Do you want some help?"

Duo nodded and Heero stood up to hold out a hand. Duo grasped the hand, Heero pulled him to his feet and when Duo's legs buckled, they landed in a pile of tangled arms and legs.

Heero breathed past the long hair in his face and the weight on his chest, poking Duo in the side. Duo worked his arms free and then placed a hand on either side of Heero's head, pushing himself off of the squashed prince.

The image of Heero's Angel of Death appeared before him. Heero blinked hard, twice, but the vision didn't clear. Amethyst eyes, a halo of hair stained black by the backlighting of the sun; Duo was his Angel of Death. "Duo," he whispered, bringing a hand up to touch the Angel's face, "You're Death."


	8. Chapter Eight

Author: Rally  
Date: August 8, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Eight-

If Duo had had any idea that Heero's outstretched hand intended to force the former merman to _stand_ on his new feet, Duo would have braced himself and probably not ended up flattening the poor fellow into the sand of the beach. The only thing left to do was to try and regain some dignity by climbing off the guy before he suffocated.

The legs weren't a total loss, but Duo was unwilling to allow another, possibly serious, mishap to occur simply because he couldn't control his new limbs. Duo had plenty of faith in his arms, however, and he used them to relieve some of the pressure.

And then he lost his breath as he fell into Heero's blue, blue eyes. The world outside of those beautiful jewel-tone spheres ceased to exist.

A hand touched his cheek, breaking the contact.

"Duo," said Heero in an almost reverent breath, "You're Death."

Duo arms faltered in shock, so he pushed himself to the side to avoid falling on Heero again landing hard on his shoulder.

Heero knew. Heero _knew_ who he was, that he was the Death Prince, the Shinigami. Heero knew that Duo was destined to bring a Great Death to the sea, that he _was_ the Great Death of the Sea and for the first time in his life, Duo felt ashamed of that destiny. Who would ever love someone drenched in death? Who could? Heero would never love him back.

Duo caught Heero's eye and then mouthed, "Yes, I am." He sealed his eyelids shut. He wouldn't look at the disgust, the hatred that Heero would direct toward him. It was a cowardly act, but it wasn't like he _owed_ Heero anything. There was no commitment, no friendship, between them. There was barely an acquaintance.

"If you're Death, why did you save me?"

Duo's eyes wrenched open. Heero was looking at him without disgust or hatred. The human prince's features showed nothing more condemning than mere interest.

"You swam for miles to get me to shore. If you truly are my Angel of Death, then why didn't I die? Why am I still here?"

* * *

In the center of her pink world, the Sea Hag studied her crystal, hands tearing the limbs off of an unfortunate branch of coral. She first twitched as the boys in the scene tumbled to the ground and then, as they froze in a very unsettling pose, threw the coral across the room. The boy was much too close to her Heero and he had gotten much too far in the few minutes he had spent with him.

"The little tramp!" she spat and then looked around the room to make sure no one was around to hear her curse. Before now, Relena was confident that Heero wouldn't have given the brat a second look. But now...

Now, she realized that it had been a mistake to send in that slut. After all, she didn't need to _force_ Heero to love her. He already did. He just didn't know it yet.

She picked up the abused coral. "He loves me," she whispered breaking off the last limb and smiling.

* * *

"What's this we have here?" Duo's three friends had been silent for so long, Trowa's hushed voice startled the fish.

Quatre tore his eyes away from the scene on the beach. "What?"

"Don't look too hard, but..." The crab pointed across the shallows where Quatre spotted two very familiar eel-women scoping out the princes.

"I think we need to look into that." Trowa nodded. "You too Wufei. And stop pouting."

"I do not pout," pouted the seagull. "I brood. You would brood as well if that inconsiderate prince tried to sit on you and then proceeded to ignore your calls."

"He didn't try to sit on you." Quatre earnestly strove to be as serious as he possibly could. "He shoved you aside and ignored your squawks. To him, you're just a bird. I _told_ you that you're a seagull. You're lucky he didn't sic his dog on you. Now, let's go take care of those interlopers before they can do any real damage."

The fish swam off, confident that his friends would follow, setting a course that would bring him up behind the twosome.

* * *

Heero refused to take his gaze away from the Angel. He needed to know why he still lived. He needed an answer.

::Heero, do you want to die?:: There was something in the Angel's posture, something akin to defeat.

He didn't want to die, Heero knew that much. He didn't really know himself what answer he was searching for in his angel. "No. I don't want to die."

::If you didn't want to die, you idiot,:: the Angel beamed in a most un-angel like way::Then why'd you use the stupid self-destruct? That kinda almost guarantee's death, don'tcha think?::

"Hn." Heero had nothing to say to that.

::I saved you because I could--because I wanted to. I'm not your Angel of Death. I'm just Duo Maxwell, a guy who was in the right place and time, to save a brilliant Dancing Angel of Battle. I saved you because you didn't save yourself.::

* * *

"Good evening ladies."

The eels whipped around to the new arrival. They sneered in stereo.

Quatre nodded to each in turn. "I know it's a lovely sunset to take in, but I'm going to have to insist that you depart. You see, that is my best friend you're ogling and I really can't allow you to interfere."

"You think we're afraid of _you_?"

The fish shook his head once. "Miss Catherine, is it? You seem only to see me as a harmless sidekick to the heroine and have forgotten that this is indeed a Gundam Wing fanfiction."

The women blinked incomprehension.

"I am a Gundam pilot. There is no way _in Hell_ that I will lose a fight against the both of you," Quatre explained in small words. "And if you're still not convinced..." He held up a hand and Trowa and Wufei swept in. "I believe you're outnumbered."

"Damn you!" spat the redhead calculating an escape route.

"And forget the Sea Hag. She's nothing more than a spoiled child who will never amount to anything. Find a new line of work, expand your horizons, just don't let me catch you anywhere near either Duo or Heero again or I will graphically show you the meaning of the phrase, 'Silent but deadly.'"

* * *

Duo almost marveled at the fact that, even voiceless, he could run off at the mouth. Almost. He was Duo Maxwell, after all.

He'd said entirely more than he had intended. None of it was damning exactly, but it did paint a picture of obsession. The fact that he _was_ obsessed didn't mean he had to go and declare it to the universe or to his desire.

"I'm not an Angel of Battle," said Heero. "Dancing or otherwise. I'm just me."

Duo couldn't help but like that line. ::I'm just me, too.::

"So, you don't know how to wear a coat," began Heero suddenly, a glint of, was that mischief, in his expression, "Does that mean you have nowhere to go?"

::I thought I'd just sit on this beach for a while,:: Duo admitted. ::Kinda tired.::

"I think I've got a room to spare. If we can get you on your feet, you can come with me."

Duo didn't have to act surprised. ::Really? 'Cause I know I can manage this whole walking thing! Just give me one more chance, Heero!::

"One," agreed the human, climbing to his feet. "After that I'm leaving you."

::Wai! Wai! Heero, one chance's all I need!::


	9. Chapter Nine

Author: Rally  
Date: August 17, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Nine-

Duo held his breath crossing the threshold, as if just entering the dining hall was an act worthy of worship. His feet were bare, a fact that greatly upset his keeper, oh, wait, that domineering woman was supposed to be his _servant_. Duo still wasn't very steady on his feet and the shoes only made the effort of walking more difficult. The new black suit was tailor fit in under two hours and clung perfectly to all the right places, but Duo felt extremely uncomfortable anyway. He was overdressed. Okay, he was a merman, wearing anything was overdressing, but still he was wearing what had to be six layers of clothing. Six. What the hell did humans need with all that fabric?

"Good God, Dorothy!" exclaimed a sandy-haired woman sitting across the table from Heero. "What have you done to the poor boy? You've groomed him to within an inch of his life."

"I've prepared him for dinner with His Highness as I was instructed." She flipped a lock of hair out of her face and then sneered at Duo's exposed toes. "But it seems shoes are optional."

"I said dinner with his highness, not dinner with the court. Can you even breathe in all that, Mr. Maxwell?"

Duo jumped at the opportunity to free himself of some layers by fanning himself dramatically and tugging at his collar. To his great relief, and no small amount of amusement, the woman hopped out of her seat immediately.

"Sally." The woman turned back to the quiet voice. "He looks fine."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'outstanding,' Heero and I agree, but we're just _eating_." The woman hid a hand gesture behind her back, indicating that Duo should take a seat. He almost nodded assent, but then remembered she was being coy for some reason and turned the nod into his hand to fluff his bangs.

"That isn't what I meant," replied Heero, his eyes flicking to Duo before settling on Sally again. "I meant that he'll survive."

"Of course he'll survive, but who'd want to in all that wool." Her hand began spasming more urgently, waving vaguely in the direction of the chair next to the human prince. "It's, like, eighty-five degrees in here."

Duo jumped into action. Grinning, he pounded Sally on the back and then brushed past her to flop in the chair on Heero's left. He gingerly scooted the chair in, gingerly because he'd fallen on his ass earlier trying to perfect the oh so easy looking technique. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. ::Let's eat! I'm starvin'!::

* * *

Heero almost fell out of his chair when Duo entered the dining room. Almost. The only thing that kept his butt firmly on the seat was years of training in the school of indifference. In the span of one evening, Dorothy had transformed the quiet angel into some sort of black-clad god of silent beauty. The severely creased lines of the jacket and vest only served to accentuate the ripples of cocoa floating around his shoulders. Even the pure alabaster skin of his bare feet, though stark in contrast to the rest of the ensemble, didn't detract from the look, rather it added an air of mystique. The dark mysterious God of Death.

"Good God, Dorothy!" Sally's cry had successfully wrenched Heero out of his musings. "What did you do to the poor boy? You've groomed him to within an inch of his life."

"I've prepared him for dinner with His Highness as I was instructed." Indeed, she did. Heero made a mental note to increase the girl's salary and move her to the Embassy Wing. She was being wasted on the local nobles. "But it seems shoes are optional."

"I said dinner with his highness, not dinner with the court. Can you even breathe in all that, Mr. Maxwell?"

The boy made a fine show of his discomfort, but underneath it all there was still a happy glow to his eyes. Heero was about to tell him to knock off the act and sit down, but his advisor had already set a bee-line for the poor little suffering boy. "Sally, he looks fine."

She gave him the biggest grin he'd ever seen. "I think the word you're looking for is 'outstanding,' Heero and I agree, but we're just _eating_."

He actually had to make an effort to keep his cheeks from glowing. "That isn't what I meant." Did that sound too defensive? He couldn't avoid stealing a glance at Duo. The boy was brushing some hair out of his eyes and Heero found himself wondering if the cocoa-colored locks smelled as good as they looked. He ripped his gaze away. "I meant that he'll survive."

"Of course he'll survive, but who'd want to in all that wool. It's, like, eighty-five degrees in here."

He didn't care about the temperature. He just wanted Duo to sit down so he could stop staring at the boy like an infatuated puppy and potentially save himself from the embarrassment of drooling all over himself.

Duo patted Sally on the back and slid into the chair next to Heero, several strands of that delicious hair grazing Heero's arm as he scooted his chair in. ::Let's eat! I'm starvin'!::

"Who's on KP duty?" Heero asked to distract himself from the dark beauty next to him.

"Dunno." The woman unfolded her napkin and placed it in her lap. "Hisoka was on last night and Tatsumi was the night before. Konoe, maybe."

::KP duty? Don't ya have a cook?::

"The cook's on maternity leave," he explained, pointedly focusing on his empty wineglass. "Her first apprentice is visiting his sick mother and her second ran off to elope with her boyfriend some time ago. So, now we all take turns."

::Even you?:: Amusement glittered in his expression.

The real problem with reading lips was the whole "reading" aspect of it. The fact that Heero was obligated to look at Duo only sufficed to justify his aching need to stare. "No, not after the first time."

"Sausage," provided an enthusiastic Sally. "Everything Heero cooks tastes like sausage. He even managed to make the tea taste like it and I'm not talkin' the nice patty sausage either. I'm talkin' the links that have been left out until the grease starts to coagulate sausage. It was disgusting. The only one who cooks worse than Heero is-"

"It's dinner time!" chimed a happy voice. "Who wants some yum-yums?"

Oh, dear god, moaned Heero silently. Not-

"Tsuzuki!?!"

* * *

Duo's attention gravitated to the newcomer and to the silver-domed, heavy laden tray that he was supporting.

"Tsuzuki," repeated Sally in a much more sedate tone, "You've got KP tonight?"

"Of course. I hope your bellies are a-rumbling 'cause I've got just the thing to make them sing," the man sang as he placed the tray on the table.

_Thing to make them sing!_ Yeah, baby! Bring on the grub!

"But, weren't you taken off the rotation?"

"Yeah," he agreed with a smile, "But I wanted to cook for his highness' new friend. It's a special night and I wanted the food to reflect that. So, voila!" He removed the silver dome with a flourish. "Stuffed crab! I found the recipe in a magazine."

Stuffed crab?! What kind of barbarian would eat a poor defenseless crab?! Aaah!

"Whatever you do," whispered a quiet voice, "Don't eat anything."

That wasn't damned likely considering the menu, but Duo still wondered about that statement. He turned to Heero and it was as if the prince hadn't said a word. Heero's focus was solely on the cook.

"I'm not eating anything that you've cooked Tsuzuki and I'm certainly not feeding it to a guest. Are you crazy?"

"Aww." Tsuzuki had sprouted puppy dog ears and wagged his formerly non-existent tail. "But I followed the recipe exactly," he whined.

"Tsuzuki?" Heero waved the cook over to him. "There's an apple pie in the left refrigerator. Bring that out and we'll split it with you."

"Really?" The man sprung a fountain of tears. "You will?" Heero nodded. Tsuzuki held a moment of silence and then ran off to the kitchen.

As soon as he was out of site, Heero jumped up, snatched up the tray of crab delights and bolted out of the room. He was back in less than a minute, empty handed.

Tsuzuki was back in less than three, apple pie brandished like a beacon of hope. Heero cut the pie in quarters and served everyone.

Duo poked at the confection with his eating utensil. It didn't look like fish. He really, really hoped it wasn't fish, 'cause he was almost hungry enough to eat it anyway. He gave it a sniff and it didn't smell like fish either. Oh, well. Down the hatch.

It was positively the most sinful thing he'd ever tasted. It was sweet and bitter and had a pleasant spiced texture. If it was fish, Duo would be tempted to convert to cannibalism rather than suffer never tasting it again. He dropped the utensil and shoved the pie whole into his mouth, saturating his tongue with the flavor sensation.

"Um... Mr. Maxwell? Would you like a napkin?"

* * *

The boy continued to lick his hands as he gave the napkin Sally proffered a hard stare. Without thinking, Heero seized the square of cloth, grabbed one of Duo's wrists and began cleaning him up like a small child. He wiped off the hands first and then scrubbed gently at the apple-smudged face. It was amazing Duo had kept the sticky mess out of his hair. That hair, that wonderful hair, was right there, well within touching distance.

Heero watched his hand tangle into the chocolate-flavored tresses, so smooth, so soft, so...

::Heero.:: Duo's breath teased a chill down Heero's neck.

Heero started, releasing Duo and pulling away. What was he doing? "Sorry, you had a little in your..." He glanced around and realized that Sally and Tsuzuki were gone. He was alone with Duo.

Duo breathed along Heero's neck again and leaned forward just enough to allow some of those tempting locks to spill over his shoulder. Heero's gaze was fixed on those locks. He reached out to embrace them and then brought a handful up to his face. It was scented with sea salt, but below that was the aroma of something bittersweet, not exactly the cocoa he'd imagined, but something akin to it. "Duo," he breathed into the scent.

Duo placed a guiding hand under Heero's chin, mildly forcing Heero to look at him. ::Heero, I-:: He leaned in and Heero closed his eyes.

"Your Highness?" Heero jolted to his feet, spinning toward the messenger. "There's a woman here to see you. She says it's urgent."


	10. Chapter Ten

Author: Rally  
Date: August 20, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Ten-

Heero hesitated, placing a hand on the closed door to his office. He needed a moment to set his head straight, to clear it of the image of the much too good looking god of Death and he didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if that messenger hadn't invaded with urgent news.

Heero wasn't an idiot. He _knew_ what would have happened. He just didn't want to acknowledge that he knew because he couldn't deal rationally with the reality, especially not with a guest on the other side of his office door.

Two breaths. The doors slid open on silent tracks and the prince entered, slipping them closed behind him. His visitor was seated with her back to the entrance, but she didn't turn to greet her host. Heero took the opportunity to study her on his approach.

She was a bit on the short side, probably a young teenager. Her long ebony hair was pulled back into a loose tail at the base of her neck and when Heero passed around behind his desk and finally got a look at her he noticed that her skin was so white as to be almost transparent. From behind a pair of dark sunglasses her eyes worked, feverishly studying him back.

"Miss Darlian," Heero greeted without sitting down.

She nodded. "Your Highness." There was an unexplained catch of hesitation in her response that Heero didn't like at all.

Heero wasn't in the mood to pussyfoot around with strange women demanding audiences. He placed both palms on his desktop, leaning over the girl in an effective gesture of intimidation that came all too naturally to the young prince. "To what do I owe this visit? What do you want?"

She smiled with a sickly sweetness. "Well, I had thought you'd remember me, Prince Heero."

Huh? "I don't see why I should. Have we met?"

Her smile melted into a small frown. "Of course, you were unconscious for quite a bit of the time." Her hand stole up to the bow of her shades. "I'm the one who rescued you after that awful battle." The sunglasses came off to reveal a pair of purple irises. "I'm your angel of mercy."

Oh-kay. Right. Heero bit his tongue to keep from snapping at the crazy cracker. He already knew who had rescued him and it wasn't this psycho bitch, but he was curious as to her angle. "So, what? You want reward or something?"

She very deliberately folded up the shades and placed them on the edge of the desk, looking up into his eyes. "Oh, yes. I most definitely want a reward. How about you?"

"I'm fine. Thanks."

* * *

Duo waited for Heero to return. It wasn't that he was really expecting the prince to return and finish what they had started. In his head, he knew that his wait was in vain, but his heart wouldn't stop whispering that maybe Heero would come back, if only to say goodnight.

In the end, the head won the bet and Duo found himself back in his bedroom with only one day left to rescue his love from a fate worse than death, because this deal wasn't about Duo's happiness anymore. It was about keeping Heero out of that mad woman's clutches. It wasn't Heero's fault that he'd gotten mixed up in the whole situation. It was Duo's and Duo would do anything to keep Heero from suffering from his mistake, even if that meant owning up to everything he had done and everything that he was.

Although, that probably wouldn't solve the situation, either.

* * *

Relena held her temper in check with spider threads. He was purposely misinterpreting her words and he shouldn't even be able to think at this point. Her spell should have had him mesmerized from the moment of eye contact. "You certainly are. Fine that is."

"Listen," he began, pushing off the desk and crossing his arms, "If you don't have anything important to say, get out of my palace." Relena felt a vein pop in her forehead. "We big kids have more exacting tasks to see to."

What a bastard! Damn him. She'd have to bring out the big guns and she really, really didn't want to use the big guns.

"What? You have nothing to say?" He absently waved at her. "Shoo."

Relena looked him straight in the eye and opened her mouth. _"Oh, I wish I were and Oscar Mayer wiener."_

* * *

"I just have one question for you, Maxwell." Duo dragged himself out of the bonds of heavy slumber, blinking up into the horribly sun drenched room. He rubbed both sleep-laden eyes with the heels of his hands and then yawned. There was a dark silhouette at the foot of his bed that could only be Wufei. No one else called him Maxwell. "How did you do it?"

Duo scooted up into a sitting position and then shrugged his incomprehension, holding out one hand in entreaty.

"'Prince Heero to Wed,'" quoted the seagull, tossing Duo the morning edition of the paper. "This afternoon. How did you manage that?"

Duo skimmed over the article. It had to be the most vague thing he'd ever read. The name of the bride wasn't mentioned, nor was the exact time of the ceremony. The only absolute was that the celebrations would begin at sundown. Now wasn't that extremely fishy?

_"There's a woman here to see you. She says it's urgent."_

Crap. Duo would have bet his mother's entire fortune that Heero's visitor last night was the Sea Hag.

Relena. That interfering bitch. He sprung off the overstuffed featherbed and into the first set of clothes he got his hands on and nearly made it out the door before being cut off by the seagull.

"Maxwell, what is wrong?" Wufei held Duo in place with a hand on his chest. "That article was referring to you, was it not?"

The merman shook his head.

"If not you, then who?"

Duo spread his hands as if to say, "Who the hell do you think?"

Wufei compressed his lips into a thin line. "Relena." The merman nodded. "How?" A shrug. "So, what are we going to do about it?"

Good question. Duo had to see Heero. He had to talk to him and find out what had happened in the few hours since they'd last seen each other. He needed to figure out what the Sea Hag had told Heero.

Duo smiled at Wufei, patted him on the shoulder and very carefully mouthed, "Call in the troops." After a thumbs up he slipped past the silent seagull and out the door.

* * *

Though door to the prince's office was tightly sealed, it didn't prevent sensitive ears from picking up what was said behind them and Duo currently had the side of his face pressed against the wood in order to prevent any words from escaping.

"I just don't understand, Heero." That was Sally. "Who is this girl? Where did she come from?"

"Vanessa Darlian from Sanc. We've been through this." That was Heero's cold tone.

Someone huffed. "You really want to marry her?"

Duo pressed against the door harder. "Yes." Duo's stomach boiled. Why wouldn't Heero choose her over him? She was a woman, after all. Even if it was Relena. Who was he to keep Heero from happiness?

"Since when do you like girls?" The merman fell over in shock. It only took a second for the meaning of the question to register and he had to scramble to his knees in order to not to miss any of the conversation. He must have missed Heero's answer because Sally was speaking again. "And what about Duo?"

"What about him?" It was so clinical, so cold and Duo was sure he didn't want to hear any more, but his ear remained fixed to the door panel.

"What about him?" Sally repeated incredulously. "Heero, if you're going to deny what everyone else in this castle sees when we watch you with Duo then you're a fool. Marry your little woman, but don't complain to me when you realize that she is only using you. In fact, don't complain to anyone. You are not the prince that we love and respect."

"You are dismissed."

"Fine."

Duo only had seconds to flip out of the doorway before Sally stomped through and slammed them shut behind her. She caught him immediately in her sights. "Follow me. We need to talk."


	11. Chapter Eleven

Author: Rally  
Date: August 20, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Eleven-

Quatre had swam as fast as he could considering his fins were about six sizes too small for his poor, misshapen body. The outcome of this meeting was critical to Wufei's hastily constructed plan, so it was a good thing he didn't pass out before he made it to the meeting place.

He bobbed up, peeking above the window ledge and quickly assessing the situation. Everyone was accounted for and Quatre sent up a little prayer that they weren't too angry to listen to his story. He took a deep breath and slipped in through the open portal.

Floating up to a respectable height, he cleared his throat loudly. "Good Morning, Your Highnesses." Six pairs of eyes pinned him to the wall. Six identical expressions of surprise then unanimously hardened into varying degrees of worry.

"Quatre! Where have you been?" Fanta asked.

"Where's Duo?" demanded Hinano.

"Mother's furious, Catcat," Tira offered, looking somewhat furious herself.

With an evil grin, Medea bumped Hinano out of her way. "And why shouldn't she be? Duo did run off."

"We don't know that for sure!" cried a frantic Excel. "Anything could have happened to our little bubby!" She latched on to Quatre, shaking him violently. "What happened to Bubby? Where's my Bubby? It's not like I gave him permission to leave! After-all-he-is-the-little-brother, little-bubby, Duo-Duo-Duo! Come back! Don't abandon your sisters! We need you to _come **back TO US!**_"

Quatre was sure something important broke off during that last vicious snap, but everything seemed to still be working when Excel finally freed him. He focused on the only sister yet to comment, positive that she would be the last thing he would see. Ever.

Chocolate calmly raised one red eyebrow. "Explain."

The fish brushed himself off, regaining some sense of dignity. "I would love to."

* * *

Duo stared back at the woman and tried not to fidget. Sally had brought him to her office and sat him down, apparently only to stare at him in speechless confusion. Her blue eyes were practically screaming with concern and her fingers kept absently brushing the ends of her braids.

After about fifteen minutes the merman felt his fingernails dig into his thighs and forcefully relaxed his hands. This was getting nowhere on the express. He snatched a pen and on the desktop calendar he scribbled, "You brought me here to talk, so talk."

She opened her mouth, but then closed it without saying anything.

It was all Duo could do to not tear his hair out. He glanced at the clock. It was already noon.

Lessee... Noon minus sunset equals... Oi, crap!

::Listen, girlie,:: he scratched, double tracing the word "girlie." ::I've got eight hours before really, really bad things happen. Give a guy a break and spit it out!::

The woman's eyes flicked up from the note. "Bad things? What bad things?"

Duo sighed, submitting himself to telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. ::My real name is Duo Triton and I-::

"Good God!" cried Sally, accidentally knocking the pen out of Duo's hand. "You're Queen Une's heir?"

Duo gaped. What the hell? She knew about his mother? Recovering his bottom jaw, he nodded.

"You're Shinigami?"

Another slow nod.

Sally shook her head. "His parents are gonna kill me." She mumbled something that sounded like, "But that means..." and then suddenly, she stood up, slapping the table with both fists. "Screw it! Gimme the details!"

* * *

Relena leaned back, sliding her hands down the silky sides of her wedding dress and shaking her long raven locks back. The image that stared back at her from inside the mirror was a stranger. The reflection was that of a happy, violet-eyed brunette as opposed to her own pleasant-faced, blue-eyed blonde. But at this moment, that did not matter. Heero would be marrying her in just under an hour. Her new life with her surface world prince would begin in mere minutes and finally-FINALLY-she could crush the son of that woman who stole everything from her. And in the process, destroy the mother.

A spontaneous laugh bubbled up from her gut and out her mouth in a near cackle.

* * *

"Heero, we have a problem," Sally whispered. The prince's advisor had leaned in close to the groom in order to prevent a riot among the guests.

"Doesn't that line usually begin with, 'Houston?'" he replied, equally as quietly.

"Ha ha," she said dryly. "I'm serious, your highness."

The prince broke off his study of the wedding guests to give Sally an annoyed stare. "What is it?"

"It seems the wedding barge launched before the priest embarked."

Silence, then, "There's no priest on board?"

"Now, I didn't say that. In fact, there are one or two priests here as guests. I'm sure I can scrounge someone up."

"Do it."

Sally held back a grin as she turned to the room full of wedding guests. "Friends. Honored Guests. We have a bit of a situation here. The priest is AWOL and I thought maybe one of you would like the honors." She paused for a full minute, but no one spoke up. "Miss Miaka, you're the Priestess of Suzaku."

A slightly pudgy junior high girl replied, "Sorry, ma'am. I'm the wrong kind of priestess."

Sally nodded and scanned the crowd for another candidate. "Priest Genjyo Sanzo?"

"I don't do weddings," came the pissed off response from a blond Buddhist monk, sitting at a table in the back of the room.

The advisor turned back to the prince. "Maybe there's someone on the staff. I'll check."

Heero checked his watch. "You have ten minutes."

* * *

Seven minutes and thirty seconds later, Sally Po's clear voice rang out on the secure channel, "Operation Chapel of Love is a go!"

* * *

Simultaneously, a particular yellow and blue striped fish shouted out to the sky, "Operation The Wicked Witch Is Dead is a go!"

* * *

Circling above the barge, Chang Wufei received both transmissions and smiled. Everything had fallen into play so easily and he still had an ace up his sleeve. His head slightly rocked back and forth. But, really, that was just overkill.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Author: Rally  
Date: August 28, 2005

Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I _can_ type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.

Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.

**The Little Mermaid**  
-Chapter Twelve-

The Royal Wedding Barge cut determinately through the choppy waves of the ocean towards the orb of the deep orange sun, sea foam swirling in its wake like a gauzy bridal veil. On deck, all was quiet, save for the sighing of the ocean breeze and the raucous calls of a few birds of the sea, despite the sizable crowd of wedding attendees and the ship's crew gathered around the tuxedo-adorned groom-prince.

Lucrezia Noin picked her way across the stifling deck to the prince's side. "We're all set, Your Highness. Sally's got everything covered."

"Then, let's begin." He nodded to the Four String Quartet and a melody welled up, seemingly from out of the sound of the waves.

All eyes fell aft ward onto the black and white image of the blushing bride. Her stride was slow, but unhesitant and as she looked ahead to her future husband haloed by the setting sun, she smiled with a satisfied glow. As she approached the end of the aisle, she reached out a hand and Heero grasped it tightly.

As usual, there was no expression on the prince's face, just his typical bored stare. The couple turned to the curtain-enshrouded altar.

"Puun." Plue looked pleadingly up to his master, holding to him half-eaten sucker. The prince briefly leaned down, plucked the candy from the dog's paws and chucked it into the ocean. The bride assisted her groom by kicking the shivering little thing well off to the side before reestablishing eye contact with her partner.

The curtains around the altar fell away to reveal the form of a black-clad, braided Duo. He smiled at the guests.

* * *

Duo could only smile at the crowd to hide the fact that the look Relena shot him with filled him with no small amount of fear. The purple irises temporarily flashed to their original cornflower blue and then, almost too quickly to register, to blood red.

The Sea Hag turned to the human prince. "Darling, get rid of that. I don't like it."

Heero replied in a monotone, "Mission Accepted." He took a step forward.

Shi-it! Okay, this, Duo hadn't quite planned on. His arms came up to stave off a blow and he was forced to duck below a second blow in less than half a second. He managed to avoid a nasty kick, but couldn't prevent a third punch from glancing the left side of his face. He twisted, but that only succeeded in supporting Heero's knee in connecting with his stomach. As he fell to the deck, the slow-motion of half consciousness kicked in and he saw Plue embed his horn-like nose square in the center of Relena's right buttock. Her pain-enraged shriek rang out.

And then he was sure he had passed completely out for the scene before him broke into a bedlam that could only be a product of his subconscious mind. His _sisters_ had somehow gotten onboard and were beating the crap out of the flailing Sea Hag. Chocolate, Tira, Medea and Fanta had her bound and they took turns slapping the bride. Hinano and Excel stood back, but were in a screaming war over who could lecture the deranged octopus in the loudest voice.

Duo blinked three times but the sight didn't clear, so he shook his head to relieve some of the haze and had a split second to roll out of the way of Heero's descending heel. The roll left him facing the gruesome scene with Relena again, only this time Wufei had his hand down the front of her dress.

No really, what the _hell_ was going on? Something smashed into his back, hard. Shit, he'd forgotten about Heero again.

He rolled into the prince's legs, knocking them out from under him and then sprung up, pinning Heero to the deck with his own body weight.

"Maxwell?" Duo dared a glance at Wufei. The seagull held a large sea shell in his hand before flinging it onto the deck hard enough to break it. It exploded in a flash of sound, a small ball of light escaping.

A disembodied voice rose up in song. _"Oh, I wish I were and Oscar Mayer wiener! That is what I truly want to be! 'Cause if I were and Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me!"_ During the course of the verse the ball of light had swept across the deck to its rightful owner and left Duo singing the last note.

Heero's body jerked below Duo and Duo released his grip on Heero's wrists, leaning back onto the prince's knees. Heero's sapphire eyes welded themselves to Duo's face. "Duo?" Fingers came up to ghost over Duo's swollen cheek and despite the pain, Duo leaned into that touch. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Heero," he breathed, turning his mouth into the palm of Heero's hand. "I'm sorry, too."

"He~ero!" Relena's cry was as spoiled as always. "Don't listen to him! He's-" She gagged against the cloth Excel stuffed into her mouth.

Heero's hand snaked around to the back of Duo's skull and he pulled Duo down on top of him again. "Let me apologize. Please?"

Duo couldn't resist a smile. "Anything you want."

Heero smiled back with a radiance fit to shame the sun and brought his face up to Duo's. Their lips had just touched when Duo's lower body exploded into a tantrum of pain. He fell to the side of his love, writhing on the deck boards. The sun had set and his fin was back. He had failed.

"Ha!" The Sea Hag had broken free of her captors by reverting to her octopus form. "It's too late! _You're_ too late, you fool!"

She barreled over the deck, sweeping aside everything in her path and clamping onto Duo's arm. "Don't worry, lover," she shot at Heero, blowing him a kiss. "I've just a few legalities to clear up and I'll be back for you."

Duo thrashed in her grip. "Like _hell_ you will, you bitch! Stay away from him!" He didn't get anything else out before Relena threw them both over the side of the barge.

* * *

Heero recovered from the cold chill the blown kiss had produced and climbed to his feet. "Noin, get me a mobile suit."

Noin took a step back from the stony look in her prince's eye. "There aren't any on this ship, Your Highness."

A noble Chinese youth approached the prince and then bowed low. "May I suggest that you borrow mine?"

"What are you talking about?" Noin waved him up. "Who are you?"

The youth ignored the woman over the prince. "It is your only choice if you wish to save him and yourself."

"But, there are no suits on board. I've already told you!"

"Turn around." The order was given in a tone that brooked no resistance.

Heero and Noin obeyed, turning to face the bow of the ship. Noin's jaw dropped. Heero's expression hardened into diamond determination. On the bow of the wedding barge, where no one could have possibly missed it, stood a beautiful Gundam.

"Nataku," supplied the Chinaman. "And do not for a moment believe that I would allow _anyone_ to touch her if they were not worthy."

The prince faced his new ally. "Then, why?"

"There is no time for questions. Just go. Now."

Heero didn't need a second invitation. He launched himself into the cockpit and Nataku plunged into the sea.

* * *

Relena yanked Duo through the water. "Don't even bother trying to fight back, Little Death. The contract says you now belong to me."

Duo twisted, thrashed and pulled against her grip to no avail. It was as if all his strength had abandoned him. "But you cheated!" It sounded petty. Hell, he knew it sounded petty and really, he'd lost his illusion of fair play long ago, but he just couldn't resist the truth of the words.

It did have the effect of pulling the Sea Hag up short. She dug her fingers into his opposite arm as well, eyes narrowing to mere slits. "Heero is _mine_. He was mine from the beginning and if your mother hadn't interfered he'd be with me right now. So, don't you tell me I'm cheating," her eyes grew even more narrow and she shook him for emphasis, "When I'm only recovering what already belongs to me, boy."

"Relena, stop." The Sea Queen arrived, Trowa shadowing her like a sentinel.

Relena relieved the clamp on one arm only. "Ah, Lady Une. How delightful."

"Let go of my son." The queen banged her staff on the ocean floor, igniting its blade.

"Not a chance, Annie." She produced the contract. "We had a deal."

"That contract is not legal. Now, release him."

"It's not?" squeaked Duo, hope rising in is chest.

"Of course it is," soothed Relena. "It's perfectly legal and binding."

"Duo is only sixteen. He will not be a legal adult until he is eighteen."

"Damn strait! You tell 'er Mom!" The fingers on his arm squeezed harder.

"You forget, you silly woman," Relena scoffed, "This is a fairytale and in fairytale's the legal age is always sixteen! Ha!"

Lady Une's scythe swung. Relena shielded herself with the contract, which began to glow, but wasn't harmed in any way.

"You see. I told you. Your son gets turned into seaweed and Heero will finally be mine." She cocked an eyebrow. "Unless you take Duo's place."

Lady Une snorted. "I fail to see how that would improve the situation in any way."

Relena's expression turned puzzled and her grip slackened a bit. "Well, for starters, your precious son wouldn't become a common household plant."

"So, I cut him loose," the queen deadpanned. "I have six other children capable of taking his place."

"Mo-om, how could you?" Duo protested, only giving the conversation half of his attention. The Sea Hag had loosened her grip enough that he could break free if given a distraction.

"But, don't you love your little Duo-Wuo? He is your favorite child, isn't he?" Relena was still clearly confused.

The merman had made a gagging noise at the nickname, but failed to respond otherwise. Where the hell had Relena gotten that idea? His mother hated him.

"He is," the queen admitted, "But that does not excuse the fact that he got himself into this situation. I will not bail him out. I will bargain for Prince Heero Yuy's freedom, however."

"Prince Yuy?" repeated Relena, eyes shifting in calculation.

"My life for Heero's freedom. This is a limited time offer. Going once."

Relena released Duo to grasp both sides of her head. "Her life for Heero... Is there a downside to this?"

"Going twice."

"Mom, this doesn't seem like a very good idea."

With Lady Une out of the way the ocean would be hers. Everything would be hers. "I agree!"

A light shot from the tip of the Sea Scythe to rewrite the name Duo Triton to Anne Une Triton.

"Yes!" cried Relena, zapping the former queen's guard and then shrinking Lady Une down into the form of a grotesque seaweed being. The only thing remaining of the queen was her coronet and the Sea Scythe. The Sea Hag quickly snapped these up, placing the crown on her head and giggling maniacally.

"Yeeesss!" she repeated, her gaze falling onto the ex-prince. "Now, it's time for you to die."

"Not if I can help it." A gundam appeared from out of nowhere, slapping Relena to the side.

Duo blinked twice. It was Nataku, but the voice of the pilot wasn't Wufei's. It was Heero's. Joy that Heero had come to rescue him warred with concern over Heero's well being. Relena had the Sea Scythe and Duo had seen first hand how much damage it could do to even a gundanium-alloy mobile suit. "Heero! Get out of here! She's got-"

A hand enveloped his mouth, but he latched onto the offending arm and flipped his assailant over his shoulder. It was eel-girl Catherine.

"Don't you touch her!" cried Hilde, slamming into Duo's side.

"Hey, _she_ touched _me_ and I've no qualms over a little self-defense."

* * *

Heero caught sight of the merman grappling with the eels, but his attention was abruptly averted to the fast growing shadow to his left. It seemed the octopus was feeling a little threatened. The shadow was an ink cloud.

"Fools." The voice came from the center of the cloud and seemed to be moving toward the surface. "Idiots. Morons. You dare to defy me?"

"Yeah, that was the idea." Heero focus was pulled to the speaker. Duo. He had managed to down both of the eels and was glaring defiantly at the ink cloud.

The tip of something big and gold broke through the edge of the cloud. "Oi, shit, Heero. I think our problem just got a lot bigger."

Duo was right. The big, gold thing was the tip of Relena's crown and her head was now clearing the cloud.

"You forget, you little brat. I'm your problem, not his." She thrust the Scythe at Duo.

It was caught by Nataku. "No, you forget that I am yours."

Relena's huge hand caressed Nataku's head. "And I am yours, love, but first we have to get rid of that brat." She shifted to move, but Nataku held her firm.

"Stop misinterpreting me and stay the hell away from Duo. He's mine." He yanked the Scythe out of her grasp, flipped it around and sliced her in two. The two sides of the body poofed into dust.

* * *

Duo watched the scene in disbelief. Heero's voice repeated over and over in his mind, "He's mine." _Please make it true. Please make it not a dream,_ his head chanted and then he promptly passed out.

* * *

"Duo? Are you alright?" The merman didn't respond, didn't move at all. Heero swept Duo gently into one of Nataku's hands and rose to the surface where he was free to exit the gundam.

"Duo?" He caressed the side of the beautiful boy's face. "Duo, talk to me. I like the sound of your voice."

"I assume, you know the traditional means of waking a sleeping princess."

Heero whipped around to the source of the comment. The Chinese owner of Nataku was perched comfortably on the shoulder of the Gundam. "Where did you come from?"

He smirked, crossing his arms. "Do you or don't you know how to wake a sleeping princess?"

Heero passed his focus over Duo's sleeping face once more and frowned. "Duo's not a princess."

"The principal is the same, Yuy. A kiss of true love is a kiss of true love."

The prince felt his skin burn. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do," snorted the Chinaman.

"Hn." The skin beneath his fingers cool to the touch. Were merpeople cold-blooded like their fish counterparts or were they warm-blooded like their human? "He's cold."

"Then, what are you waiting for? I am sure a kiss from you would warm his blood." Heero closed his eyes, blocking out all distraction. If this was the only way...

"Stop lying to yourself. You want to kiss him." The Chinese youth was voicing every twinge of the truth in Heero's mind.

Heero looked at his conscience. "What? Do you want to watch?"

The boy smirked again. "That was the plan."

He turned back to the sleeping angel. Great. Now, he had an audience.

But, back on the barge, he also had an audience and that wouldn't have stopped him from kissing the braided beauty. It wasn't going to stop him now.

"Duo," he whispered. "Please, wake up." He pressed against those chilly lips in a chaste kiss and then leaned back to watch for any sign of stirring. Long lashes fluttered open and a smile spread from mouth to eyes.

"Heero," Duo breathed. "Before I wake up, I just want to say that I love you."

Heero smiled and lightly kissed Duo again. "I love you, too, Duo and you're not asleep."

"I'm not?" The confounded look on Duo's face was quite possibly the most adorable expression, Heero had ever witnessed.

"No."

"Waitaminnit..." The confusion morphed into joy. "You do?"

Heero nodded. "Ah."

Duo wrapped his arms about Heero's middle. "I love you too!"

Heero returned the tight embrace, hugging Duo's head and petting his hair until he was shoved rudely away. The braided boy held him at arm length, frowning and staring at a point far below the surface of the water.

"Duo?" Heero tilted Duo chin up until he could gaze into those gemstone eyes. Moisture sparkled at each corner. "What's wrong?"

"I have a fin," moaned the merman.

"So?"

"So? So? Whaddya mean so?"

"So what? You have a fin. Big deal. I have arms. Get over it." Heero worked Duo's hands off his arms and moved in closer.

Duo bit his lower lip. "And my mother hates you."

"One rarely gets along with his in-laws. I think I can manage."

"But-"

"Quit the melodrama and ask your mother to change you back into a human, Maxwell."

Duo grabbed Heero, peeking over his shoulder. "Wufei? What are you doing here?"

"That's what I'd like to know," mumbled the human.

"And what are you talking about?"

Wufei leapt down landing behind the couple and searching the waters below. "Well, Your Majesty?"

The merman clawed to the edge of the mobile suit's hand and Heero quickly joined him. Below, several dozen merpeople and various sea creatures were gathered, watching. In the very center was noble looking mermaid. She was wearing the coronet and held the Scythe from the earlier battle.

"Mom, you're okay!" Duo called out, leaning further over the edge.

The noble mermaid nodded. "As your friend has informed you, I can make you human. Is this what you want? You will never be able to return to the sea."

* * *

Duo caught sight of Quatre and Trowa, his best friends and of his sisters who never failed to bring him both frustration and happiness. Even the narcissistic Medea and the nutcase Excel. But then he looked at Heero, his Heero, his beautiful Dancing Angel of Battle-_his_-and he liked the sound of that. He could stay with Heero.

"Yes," he replied without regret. "I do."

"Good," stated the queen, smiling for the first time in Duo's life. She pointed the Scythe at Duo and in a warm glow his fin transformed into legs. "Then, I wish you happiness for eternity."

"And a day," contributed Quatre in a shout.

A white trench coat flopped down onto the merman made human. "Cover yourself, Maxwell. It is disgraceful to run about unclothed."

The braided boy beamed at Wufei. "Thank you, 'Fei."

"I will be around. I am _not_ a seagull, after all." With that he stepped off the mobile suit, falling into the ocean, but there was no splash.

Both boys craned over the edge to find out what had happened to the Chinaman, only to discover they were alone one the sea.

"Are all merpeople this curt?"

"Nah. Just my family," said Duo with a grin.

"There's one good thing about them leaving." Heero had a peculiar look in his deep blue eyes.

"What's that?" asked Duo warily, unsure of that strange glint.

"Now," he folded Duo into his arms, "I can kiss you without the audience."

"Oh." Duo's brain went to mush. "I'd like that."

"Me too." Their mouths pressed together in a passionate embrace.

"Heero!"

They ignored the cry and any other calls that came after. They even managed to neglect the lollipop that was shoved forcefully into their hands.

"Puuun."

-The End-


End file.
